_____________!!text v[ersu]s. romance

her every step, adorned in secrets of what-i could not tell, it's just the way her mother cried on the phone that made me curse the rules and secrecy of friendship forever. i crossed-my-heart-and-hoped-to-die that i'd keep it all locked inside this locket she gave me the summer before last. now a sobbing, stuttering woman who sounds aged by love loss and other frailties reaches through speakers and twists my heart right in my very fucking chest. she was a troubled girl, the kind that would do anything just to satisfy her cravings for pleasure&love no matter where it was found. she wine/dine/sixty-nined me and for every moment of it i was satisfied [naive/but fucking satisfied]. for every time i never tasted his kiss on her lips and for every time i never knew he was lying in the same spot i was the night before, i was grateful [you know how they say ignorance is bliss, angel]. and then it was like a fucking shot through my heart, like a pistol came along and said "FUCK RIBS, I'm TEARING YOUR LIFE APART". it's not that i didn't love her, because every inch of my womanhood appreciated her fingers, her lips, her legs, and her hands. see, unexcusable is when you catch them together: it's when your boyfriend and your girlfriend reveal what pure scum they really can be. it's like Hatęs and Satan fucking in an inflatable bed on blue satin sheets. bulletproof relationships blasted to death. i gave you sweet kisses, boy. you said it was so nice. but you told the same thing to her and now open arms hold nothing. traveling an hour each way to see you and you traveled an hour to fuck her. you're a brown eyed disaster and i wish i never layed eyes on you. phone receivers transport the voice of a mother mourning and asking for answers that pain me. it's not that she died, she's just fucking dead to me.

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